I have said more than once before that one of the great benefits of having children is the complete absolution of all regret. I cannot wish to change any event in my life prior to my child’s being because it is those events that brought them here. The jobs I quit (or didn’t), the people I touched (or didn’t), or the opportunities I seized (or wasted) all led to the creation of this being (or beings). It not only changes your life, but allows for some biographical reset button to give you another start. In modern terms, it is like a save point in a video game. Any regretting that you do will have to begin from this point.
But, that’s just it. Now the pressure is on. The choices that you make now are yours, and you’ve got folks along for the ride. At least these little creations of guilt absolution can provide you with a little guidance, even if they (or you) don’t know that it’s happening. I see it every time I need to make a choice. I see the possibilities in my mind, and automatically an overlay image of two smiling faces appears. If the images are in contrast, perhaps some additional thinking is in order. If they seem to blend together in one harmonious amalgam, creating some Technicolor life map of decision-making direction, I know that will be the way to go.
One caveat however. The upcoming holiday season (and all others before and hence) provides colorful choices that will all blend with the smiling faces of children, no matter what. All toys, gifts, garland and sweets will mesh harmoniously with the joy and laughter of little souls. This is why you will see me wandering, with vacant stare and perplexed mind, though aisles of toys in the coming weeks. It is normal. It is fine. And I am pretty sure I am not going to be alone.